Today has been a morning of gratitude for me. I have a men’s meditation meeting on Sundays that I go to in a nearby church. It is extremely helpful for reframing myself to be appreciative of everything I have in my life. I hear people voice their fears and worries, real concerns about financial security or the ability to take care of their loved ones. Dealing with medical issues personally or for people they are…
As of my last trading session yesterday, on Friday March 27th, 2026, I was down $64,906.82 since beginning to click in just over two months ago. I opened this blog with a post describing how losing roughly half this much would cause people to question my sanity.As my losses have mounted further, my confidence that this will work out has actually increased. Either A) I am detached from reality or B) the slope of your…
You know what’s interesting? I can’t tell what my ELO is. Trading gives you absolutely zero feedback on what your rating is.It doesn’t tell you what cutoff makes money in which environments.It doesn’t tell you where you started, or what that mistake you just made set you back.Or whether despite mounting P&L losses, you are improving sufficiently. I’m not sure whether I’m misevaluating my competencies. Or my resume and aptitudes aren’t the fit I thought…
I’ve really been going through it this week.This month has been a tough one for me. Not only am I down around $10k, but I have been violating my trading rules. I have rapidly increased my size past my designated limits. I have removed my daily stoploss and increased my individual position maximum. During my trading I have disregarded entry and exit requirements, entering trades early or late and not cutting trades from running too…
Originally written on March 9th:I ran the LA marathon on Sunday with a 4:15 time — 30 minutes faster than I was hoping!It makes me feel like I can accomplish hard things and set bigger goals in my life, that I am returning to being confident. Somewhere past mile 20, it also unblocked emotions that I had been bottling up. I feel more than I did before and I feel more easily. What an incredible…
Yesterday I didn’t leave my home; I was in a mental cave. After the open slowed down this morning and the $MMED IPO stabilized I took a long walk and called a friend. It helped restore me mentally and emotionally. I feel much better. The last few days have been quite tough. Interestingly enough I have started seeing sleep paralysis demons, last night was the third time in the past month. They occur from high…
I detest New Years resolutions. They’re often short lived and spiritually opposite to how true change is introduced in a lasting manner to lifestyle. Kaizen is the real method for introducing change. Which I typically subscribe to, however the title of today’s blog isn’t related to previously unidentified or inadequately adopted changes that I want to add or remove from my life. Rather, I know what I should be doing. I know who I could…
This is an ugly post. I’m happily willing to share it as I am no stranger to chronicling difficult journeys via online blogging. However if I were to admit it to anyone that doesn’t know me well, like my date last night, people at LA’s run clubs, or anyone normal really, it would be incredibly embarassing! I have lost $31823.75 since I entered the world of trading seven weeks ago. To some, that sounds crazy.…